Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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