Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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