So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
