guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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