I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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