One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
