i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
