i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
