this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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