I want to walk on stilts...naked
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
