there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
NoShamevember. You game?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
