I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You took a bar mat shot.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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