Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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