I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I need water and some morals
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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