that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Alive.
So much puke
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
