Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
