But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
