...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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