I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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