Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
