just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
