I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
