feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
