I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
