wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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