god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
