can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
