So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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