i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
