we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
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They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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