remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
