Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
