The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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