it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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