my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
