I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
worst night to have a conscience
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
