Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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