Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
