I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
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MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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