I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
