writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
