Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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