ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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