did you get engaged???
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
