Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
