her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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