The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
