and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
