can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
