So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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