their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
