She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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