Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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