i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my poor anus
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
