I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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