JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
