ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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