My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
