No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
