I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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